


At another place in time (You were infinitely mine)

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Category: Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Blow Jobs, Dick Grayson is Batman, Light BDSM, M/M, Red-Haired Jason Todd, Rough Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, not beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Bruce was dead. He was dead and Dick wasn’t ready to take his place. He wasn’t ready to wear the cowl, fill in his shoes and carry on a mission that hadn’t felt like his own for years now.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 4
Kudos: 137





	At another place in time (You were infinitely mine)

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:  
> 1\. Every Piece of Me by Illenium ft Echos  
> 2\. Berenstein by The Band Camino

Dick remembered the first time he stepped into the cave, the anticipation that thrummed through his veins, the booming of his heart, louder and louder with every step he took down the spiral staircase. Since the day he had come to the manor, uncertainty had haunted him, creeping under his bed every time he tried to sleep, lurking in the shadows every time he tried to breathe.  _ Someday, this too will end  _ it whispered in his ears, wrapping around his throat like a noose.  _ Someday, you’ll be alone again.  _ And Dick had no reason to ignore its words. He had no reason to believe that Bruce wouldn’t grow tired of his company. But then, a hand was held out for him, a chance given, one that he never expected, one that flipped his whole view of the world, of his life, upside down.  _ Be my partner  _ that was all Bruce had to say and uncertainty just slinked away, out his head, out of the door, displaced and left without a home. Dick could breathe again, inhale oxygen without the rope tightening. He had lept at the chance to feel safe, right into the arms of belonging because the manor was finally his home and even if Bruce couldn’t be a parent for him, he could be a partner.   
  


This was his new beginning, an unexpected chapter that he stepped into without any fear, putting his faith in the person who had saved him from what could have been a bleak future. By Bruce’s decree, Dick carried on his new mission, embodying the ideals he needed to be Gotham’s saviour. By Bruce’s decree, he lived his life, making friends, falling in love, but never letting anyone get too close, lest the shatter his resolve and make him more human than he needed to be. And even though he was sure he had done everything right, even though he never let go of everything that he had been taught, the one relationship he needed to survive ended. Another snap of the rope, another slip of the hand, so close but never close enough, Dick watched his dreams, his purpose shatter without a safety net to break the fall.   
  


Bruce had let him fall and all because he was human even if he pretended not to be. All because when he looked at Dick, he didn’t see a partner but a son. His son. Batman was a symbol of hope for the citizens of Gotham and a symbol of fear for those who trod on the wrong path. Bruce had built an incomparable legacy through his devotion to his mission, through his drive to protect Gotham, even if the cost was his own life. He understood the fragility of human life, understood that there was a chance he wouldn’t have a tomorrow so he had to make the most of today. Because he had given his all to the mission, because he couldn’t let emotions cloud his judgement, he chose to push Dick away than keep him close.   
  


It was then that Dick saw Batman for what he really was, the path he had looked forward to taking lonelier than expected. It was then that Dick swore to himself that he would never wear the cowl. But because life was cruel, she had heard his words and decided that a lesson needed to be taught. She took Bruce and placed all his responsibilities on Dick’s shoulders, watching with glee as he was crushed under their weight, his own identity shoved in the background as he was forced to become someone else.   
  


Bruce was dead. He was dead and Dick wasn’t ready to take his place. He wasn’t ready to wear the cowl, fill in his shoes and carry on a mission that hadn’t felt like his own for years now. Most of all, he wasn’t ready to be a parental figure for the ten-year-old boy Bruce had left behind, his son,  _ his real son,  _ a boy who carried enough fury in his veins to burn down the whole world. Everything was a mess. Everything was spiralling out of control and no matter how hard he tried, Dick simply couldn’t be Bruce.   
  


And now, with the cowl weighing heavily on his head, he wished for nothing more than to be rid of this responsibility.   
  


Smoke swirled in his lungs as he covered his mouth, wheezing and coughing, struggling for air, his mind demanding that he turn back. But he couldn’t, not when his eyes searched for the man in the red helmet and white suit, Red Hood, Jason,  _ family.  _ He was around here somewhere, Dick was sure of that and he had to reach him before it was too late. Before he was taken away from him once again, through the earth, deep into the ground, falling and falling, not a Lazarus pit in sight to bring him back. Just because he had survived his first round with death, it didn’t mean he was blessed enough to always make it through the fire without a scratch. And when it came to Jason, he had always been cursed, alive but forever doomed to be broken.   
  


Sometimes, when Dick spoke to Jason, sometimes, when he got a look into his mind, he worried that Jason would rather die. He worried that Jason would rather leave him behind. After everything they had been through, how could Dick allow that?  
  


“ _ Batman! _ ” Damian screamed over the comms, his voice breaking apart. “ _ Wh-- -re you?”   
  
_

As the kid’s voice filled his ears, Dick’s resolve wavered, heartbeat numbing, those words reminding of who he was right now, of the colours he wore and the power they held. Things like emotions, relationships and biases, they could only cloud his judgement, make him soft, make him fragile, a weakness he couldn’t afford. He was Batman so it was his job to turn in criminals like Red Hood. He was Batman so he couldn’t act on feelings of love to save someone who clearly didn’t want to be saved. The right thing to do would be to send Jason to Arkham. The right thing to do would be to never see him again. Together, all they had ever done was hurt each other. Together, all they could do was start a fire that left ruin in its wake. Much like this one.   
  


But such decisions weren’t always easy to make, especially when Jason was right there, in front of his eyes, so close to touch, so close to hold and never let go.   
  


“ _ Batman! _ ” Damian called out again.  
  


Dick’s fingers twitched on his side, fists clenching and unclenching. He tried to think, tried to make that snap decision that could solve all his problems, the way Bruce solved his. When he moved, when he took action, he seemed to know exactly what he wanted. He seemed to know what the outcome would be, word by word, breath by breath. But then, Bruce was no longer here. The man that Dick was sure would never die, blessed with immortality every time he wore the cowl was dead. He had to be the one to make the call. He had to do what he thought was right.   
  


“Robin. Bring the Batmobile to my location. Stat _ , _ ” Dick ordered, staring down at Jason’s unconscious body, at the long red hair pooling out of the broken helmet.   
  


It seemed that his father figure, the man that he so looked up to and admired hadn’t always been honest with him. But then again, Bruce valued his secrets more than he valued his relationship with other people, thinking that he could protect the world this way. Thinking that he could protect his family by keeping them at a distance.   
  


Draping Jason’s arm around his shoulder, Dick hoisted him up, sighing with relief when he heard a groan. Jason was still alive.  _ He was alive. _ Criminal or not, he wouldn’t allow anyone to die on his watch, especially not someone he cared for so deeply. He knew that the rest of the family wouldn’t appreciate the decision he was making, all of them having their own issues with the Hood. But at a time like this, when they were all breaking apart, they needed all the support they could get. Jason needed all the support he could get. Even if he had tried to blow up the batmobile yet again. Even if the anger he felt towards Bruce and his methods had reared its ugly head yet again.  
  


“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Robin asked as Dick helped Jason into the backseat of the Batmobile.   
  


“Remember when I said that we don’t kill?” he asked, securing the seatbelt for Jason. “Well, it also means that we don’t leave people to die if we can save them.”  
  


“ _ He _ tried to kill  _ us _ !” Damian argued, face twisting with anger.   
  


And Dick couldn’t honestly blame him for feeling the way he did. Today was supposed to be another ordinary night where they patrolled the city, watching out for anything suspicious. Everything was going smoothly, Damian had finally started to trust Dick a bit, following orders instead of running off on his own. But then, Red Hood had arrived on the scene. Dick had known that Jason was lurking about in Gotham but every time he got close, the man just disappeared without a trace. Now, here he was with a sidekick of his own. As always, words were spoken, but it was never things they really wanted to say, unable to demand answers for subsequent betrayals because yesterday they had been fine. Dick wanted to know how they always ended up this way, on opposite sides, bleeding through until one of them caved. He was sick of this but he couldn’t stop it either, afraid that without a reason to stay, without the hate lingering in his heart, Jason would have no reason to seek him out, no reason to stand before him and call his name.   
  


“We’re taking him with us, Robin,” was all Dick could say, not having a defence for Jason or for his own twisted feelings.   
  


“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Damian spat, looking visibly upset.  
  


Unfortunately, Dick couldn’t say anything reassuring at all. Because when it came to Jason, he just never knew what would happen next.  
  
  


*******

  
Dick woke up to the feeling of fingers pressing into his thighs as his legs were pushed apart, a tongue painting strokes across his skin, tracing his scars and worshipping them. As his eyes fluttered open, the numbness in his mind fading, he tried to remember where he was and what had happened before his sudden awakening. After stopping Jason from becoming his own undoing, Dick had brought him back to the cave where he could get the medical help he needed, concentrating on the sutures because that was easier than entertaining a barrage of questions he didn’t have answers for.  _ Are you sure this is what you want? Don’t you see how dangerous he is? _ Of course, in the midst of all this anger was Alfred who had silently taken over for him, noticing the way Dick’s hands trembled, his own body at war with itself. The old man’s eyes glimmered with appreciation, a silent thank you for bringing Jason home because Arkham was not where he belonged. For someone like him, that was the most dangerous place he could be. But no one else could see that. Once Alfred was done, Jason had been locked away in one of the holding cells in the cave, a place he’d stay in until they decided what to do with him. With one last glance at the unconscious man and after a lot of nagging from Alfred, Dick had left, taking the stairs two steps at a time so he could lock himself away in his room, falling asleep the moment his head met the pillow.   
  


Jason was supposed to be locked up in a cell that no one could breakthrough, a cell designed by Bruce himself. Yet, here he was, between Dick’s legs, lapping at his cock as his emerald eyes, full of heat and amusement, silently challenged him.   
  


Dick took a moment to close his eyes, to just feel without thinking as Jason’s tongue dragged across his length, from end to the tip, swirling, sucking and kissing until soft moans were spilling from his lips, until he was hard enough to need release. Every movement was practised and perfected over the years, pushing his every button so his mind was turned to mush, noticing nothing but the heat that pooled in his stomach. Dick knew exactly what Jason was thinking so he dragged his fingers across the long red hair that framed his face, massaging his circular motions into his scalp before pulling hard enough to lift his head, the pain of which made Jason groan with satisfaction.   
  


“Come now, Dickie. I was having fun,” he purred, cheek pressed against Dick’s thigh.   
  


“You’re supposed to be in the cave, locked up,” Dick reminded but his words just amused Jason even more, lips pulling into a sharp smile that sent shivers down his spine.   
  


“It took me less than five minutes to break out. But you knew that would happen,” he whispered as he slowly crawled forward, making sure that Dick watched the way his muscles bulged and rippled so that if he could think rationally before, he’d be out of his mind with need now. “You wanted me to come for you so I did, Dickie,” he added, singing the words right into Dick’s ears before rolling his hips so their cocks would brush together, a delicious sensation that ended so abruptly.  
  


But being the frustrating man that he was, Jason continued this cycle, giving Dick a glimpse into everything he could have but depriving him of the simplest of pleasures, a gift only given to good boys that begged with wide eyes and whines. His lips continued to hover over Dick’s ears so he could hear every sound, the kind that made his heart race, the kind that made him dig his fingers into the sheets, grabbing onto them so tight that his skin turned white.   
  


Dick wasn’t a weak man. He really wasn’t. He had more self-control than most people, something that he had developed as a child because as an acrobat, the way he treated his body, the control he had over his own impulses was important. But Jason somehow always managed to be his undoing, peeling away every bit of control until all that was left behind were his needs, some innocent and others so dark that he’d never speak of them to anyone lest they reject him. But Jason never judged. He never shamed Dick for wanting. Instead, he took all his desires and made them his own.   
  


He wasn’t a weak man. He knew that but Jason had a way of breaking him down.   
  


So, instead of pushing him away the way he should have. Instead of leading him back to the cave and into the cell the way he should have, he pulled down Jason’s mouth, swallowing his moans to kiss him, softly at first, kittenish pecks that made him feel like a teenager just discovering love. But then, their tongues intertwined, Jason’s body pressed against his, and his self-control, whatever bit was left, was fading away as if non-existent. Fingers travelled across the expanse of his body, dancing across his muscles, wrapping around his throat, against his veins, a looming threat, a tease that made him crave more.  
  


“Still a mess, ain’t ya, Dickie?” Jason asked before biting down on his lower lip so hard that he could taste the blood on his tongue, a taste he was familiar with by now. A taste he expected otherwise the night would never be complete.   
  


Then the threat was no longer a threat as Jason’s fingers tightened around his throat, making his heart race in his chest.  _ Thump, thump, thump.  _ Pupils widening, adrenaline pumping through his veins, a hint of fear swirling down with excitement and he was gasping with appreciation, gasping because he couldn’t breathe, gasping because he loved the way Jason was rolling down his hips, their cocks moving together, taking him so high that he could just come from this.   
  


“Always need me to punish ya,” Jason tutted as he let go before he pushed too much. “Always need me to remind ya that you’re not perfect.”  
  


“Jay,” Dick whimpered in his arms and that sound, the sweet sound that he had been dying to hear all night brought a smile to Jason’s lips.   
  


“It’s okay, pretty bird. I got ya,” he hummed as he reached for the drawer, knowing exactly where the lube was kept.   
  


With his breath caught in his throat, Dick watched as Jason popped open the cap, holding up his hand as the liquid pooled into his palm, trickling down his fingers and down his chest, putting on a show.   
  


“So, pretty bird. How do ya want it? Slow and gentle? Or rough and fast?” Jason asked though he knew the answer all too well. He could do anything and everything because just the once was never enough, both of them holding onto too many demons that they could only work out through mindless fucking.   
  


“Need you in me, Jay,” Dick answered as he wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist and there it was again, that sharp smile that made thrill run down his spine, promising so many things but none of them were good.  
  


Rubbing the lube between his fingers, Jason let them brush against Dick’s hole to let him know that he wasn’t in the mood to listen, playing his own little game instead, the thought of which made Dick pout. They had been apart for far too long and tomorrow was uncertain. Dick could wake up in Jason’s arms or in an empty bed, his partner from the night before nowhere in sight, the window wide open after his escape. And maybe this was just a trick that Jason had lured Dick into it, an easy fuck so he could leave before the decision to send him to Arkham was finalized. Unfortunately, Dick couldn’t care about that right now, not when the prospect of punishment was hung before him, his heart aching for more.  
  


And then Jason’s fingers were pressing into him, unbearably slow, almost as if he was afraid to hurt him, afraid of the pain that made his spine tingle, the kind that made him bite down on his lower lip, moan after moan echoing in the room. Instead of receiving satisfaction, all Dick could do was move his hips to urge Jason to go faster, a whine building up in his throat as his lips pulled into a pout.   
  


“You’re being punished, Dickie,” Jason pointed out, still keeping the process slow and tortuous. “Which means you don’t get what you want.”   
  


There it was again, the silent challenge hanging between the two of them, Jason taunting him to see how he would retaliate, how he would take control. While the world saw Dick as someone open and a little too simple-minded, Jason knew exactly how manipulative he could be, letting people see only what he wanted them to see. Since Dick was never one to disappoint, he took hold of Jason’s free hand and licked across his fingers, nibbling on his skin before sucking onto them, pushing as deep as they could go, bobbing his head, hollowing out his cheeks, deep blue eyes staring straight into emerald.   
  


Jason’s eyes darkened as he took in the sight before him, every sensation making him shudder, his own cock drooling with precum.   
  


“You really are something,” he said as he smiled, baring his teeth like a madman. Like a predator that had cornered its prey.   
  


Then without warning, Jason’s cock was pressing against his hole, pushing in with little resistance but even then, the slightest burn was enough to make Dick’s eyes flutter shut as his head fell back, a groan escaping from his lips. Jason filled him completely, dragging across every part of him that made his heart leap into his chest, that made his eyes go wide and his knees go weak. It was the kind of fullness, the kind of elation that he only felt when Jason was inside him, when he was fucking him, moving hard and fast, hips snapping and the dirty sound of it filling up the room like a song he could listen to on repeat. Just like now, just like this. Higher and higher he flew, every thrust making him spiral out of control until he was left punching out moan after moan, every incoherent thought disappearing from sight. He wasn’t Bruce Wayne’s son. He wasn’t Batman. He wasn't a brother. He wasn’t a caretaker. He was just Dick and no one else, something that happened rarely.  
  


Then Jason’s fingers were wrapped around his throat once again, giving him the final squeeze that would push him over the edge, a moan ripped out of him as he spilled all over his stomach, droplets of white staining his abs. Exhaustion filled his bones as he came crashing down to Earth but he knew this wasn’t over, not when Jason was still moving inside of him with abandon, his pace never slowing down, instead picking up, another delicious burn pushing Dick close to overstimulation. And then Jason was coming as well, his hips stuttering as his eyes squeezed shut, lower lip pulled between his teeth until he emptied inside of Dick.   
  


Come tomorrow, Dick would go back to being buried under the weight of his responsibilities, scared of this strange and uncertain future. Come tomorrow, Jason would go back to being his enemy, the love they shared nothing but a memory of what used to be. They would clash. They would break apart. And then, in the future, they would come together once again, like star crossed lovers who could share only one moment of belonging before separating. But the two of them had a choice to work things out or to move on, look for something healthy, something that wouldn’t hurt them over and over again. They never did though, always finding reasons to hold onto each other.   
  


Brushing his fingers through Jason’s red hair, a sight that Dick had never seen before, he kissed him softly, their limbs tangled as they basked in the afterglow of everything that had passed.   
  


“Ready to add me to your posse of redheads?” Jason asked with a playful grin as his fingers slowly massaged the knots out of Dick’s muscles, making him groan.   
  


“You could be - _ ahh-  _ an honorary member,” he answered as he settled against Jason. “You can’t be a permanent member if you don’t keep the red hair.”  
  


“That ain’t fair!”  
  


“That’s life!”  
  


Rolling his eyes, Jason turned away and Dick could almost see him pouting. It was only in moments like this when they could be vulnerable and honest with each other, acting as though a few hours ago they weren’t threats hanging between them. Pressing a kiss against the back of Jason’s ears, Dick grinned against his skin.  
  


“You could just… keep the red hair,” he whispered.  
  


“I just… never thought about that. Bruce always made me dye my hair to match yours so I just got so used to it,” Jason admitted, his body stiffening. “To be honest, until now, I had forgotten what my real hair even looked like.”  
  


“Well, I personally think you look hot like this,” Dick purred, nuzzling his neck as his arms wrapped around Jason’s waist. “So fucking hot that I could just eat you up.”  
  


“But Dickie, you wanna eat me up all the time,” Jason hummed with amusement.   
  


“Can you blame me, Jay? Hmm?”  
  


“I guess I can’t.”  
  


Pressing another kiss on Jason’s neck, Dick ran his fingers through the red hair, brushing it, feeling its softness against his skin, knowing that this would probably be the last time he would see it like this. Bruce’s training, his words, they were ingrained so deeply inside all of them that they were hard to forget, their bodies and minds moving on their own to fulfill an unspoken command. A part of him knew that it was hard for Jason to accept this side of himself, to uncover the years of trauma, and work through the issues that had been gifted to him along with Robin’s mantle.   
  


It was at moments like this that Dick realized just how broken all of them were, riddled with so many insecurities with no way to deal with them because they were brought up to be emotionally cold, to bite their tongue and continue on as if on the inside they weren’t falling apart. There was no one who could be blamed for this either because Bruce was just like any of them, so traumatized by his own past, his own mistakes that he could only teach them the things that he knew.   
  


They were broken children raised by a broken man.  
  


“Go to sleep, Dick,” Jason suddenly said, his fingers intertwining with Dick’s. “I can hear you thinking.”  
  


Smiling at the small gesture, squeezing Jason’s hand, Dick closed his eyes, leaving his worries for tomorrow. He closed his eyes even though he knew that when he woke up tomorrow, he’d be all alone. But instead of despairing, he buried his face in the crook of Jason’s neck, inhaled his scent and drowned himself in his warmth, savouring each moment, knowing deep in his heart that this cycle would repeat itself. Maybe in a few days, maybe in a month or even a year. They would find their way to each other and someday, both of them would stay. 

**Author's Note:**

> I realized I posted this and forgot to add a much-needed note at the end, mostly to thank my friends at the Wayne server who encouraged and pushed me to write. Thank you for all the validation guys. I love y'all so much ;-;


End file.
